I am beginning to discover that my place in what God is doing in this world, is not a place of "hey look at me," but a place in which I am being called to be completely at the disposal of what God desires to do. In the movie, The Last Samurai, there is a scene in which ninja assassins try to assasinate the last samurai and after the attackers are defeated, the American soldier, played by Tom Cruise, who is siding with the last samurai asks if it was the emperor who is trying to kill him. The last samurai's response is telling: "No it is not the emperor, for all he has to do is ask for my life and I would give it." Such an attitude that states, my life is at the total disposal of my emperor (at the disposal of God) is not something we see much today.
We don't see it much today, because we live in a culture which states, "hey it is about me!" Everything is about me. But if God is doing something good in the world, even in the midst of all that is going so wrong, then I want to be a part of the good that God is doing -- then it becomes, not about me, but about what touches God's heart. What touches God's heart are the people who are suffering, who are struggling, who are on the periphery of society. Whenever I think life is about me, then I am dulled to seeing what God sees, the people that God sees.
I guess I want to see what God sees and make myself available to what God is doing in the world. For me to do this I need to learn more about what it means to live life in a way that is not about me, but making myself available to being one who serves the purposes of God in the world.