Exploring Life (with God)

A struggler tired of living life by "expectations." Questioning, wondering, exploring how God is recreating my life to be more genuine.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

100 Years --

I am going to live until I am 100 years old. I have got 50 years to go. Actually, who knows how long I have to live, but the point is that life is too precious not to live it in a way that drinks in all that we journey into. As I reflect back over my past 50 there have been tremendous experiences of the gift of life -- marrying and embarking on life with my wife, receiving the gift of two daughters, who continually fill my life with joy (and heartache at times too), the numerous relationships I have been privileged to participate in, even some of my accomplishments. But there also has been much of my own doing -- perhaps my undoing -- struggling with my own limitations, my own attempts to control the direction of my life, giving to much credence to the "shoulds" and "oughts" in my life, somehow wanting to "fit" into the expectations of others.

In many ways as I have struggled with these things of my own doing, I have grown, especially as I have come to realize that these have been my attempts at making a life for myself. It is in coming to realization that I don't do a very good job of shaping my life, but that the life that God daily pours into us, is a gift. Life is a gift and we have the opportunity to live into it with fullness if we have the ears to hear and eyes to see what life is all about.

There are always others who want not only to control their own lives, but also the lives of others. The more we buy into "fitting into" the control schemes of others, or even our own, the more we will miss the abundance that life has to offer.

There are a few things I have come to realize. One is that to live a life that is full, a life that embraces what it is to be fully human, is a life that can only be lived in connection with God. Why? Because I, we are "theo (God) logical" beings. I believe the Story that we are created by God and this earth is the gift we have received for us to live out the life we have been given.

There are tons of other stories out there, trying to make sense of life, but I have found that this Story makes sense out of me and opens me up to all that God is and all that God is doing in the world. Therefore, to explore life with God, in context of God's continuing creative activity, is becoming the way for me to discover how I am being continually re-created in living life in connection with the God of Life. So whether I live another 50 years, or only a piece of it -- I choose to listen less to the limits others try to place on me, and to be more open to the rhythms of God in my life.


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